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The Lighter Side!
Lou, a 70- year-old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs on Lou's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all envious. They corner him and ask, "Lou, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Lou replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"
Lou says, "I lied about my age."
His friends are fascinated, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"
Lou smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
"The Japanese eat little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks that the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink a lot of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and Drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you."
"In ancient England a person could not have sex unless they had the consent of the King. When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent from the King. The King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F*** (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that word came from."
"The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the perfect dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused. "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!" Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's your special day, not hers." Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it." Sheila grinned and replied "Of course, I do dear! I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!""
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